so as of now im am starting my LJ over. Im not sure how long it will last this time, but i guess it would be nice to write stuff down again. I never do it in a tangible journal, so i may as well do it here when im on the net. here goes.

Since i graduated my life has become significantly different. I dont see as many people as i did during high school. It really brought people together. I spent my last summer with my friends and family in alaska for a week, in New York for a while and in good old Santa Cruz where i spent my time with my friends and new Boyfriend. Over the summer things went failry well although they weren't one-hundered percent pefected. When I went away for my first semester at Sacramento State i left my friends behind. With my busy schedual of 21 units of an intensive music program i had little time to talk to friends of junp on the internet for a quick chat. I was busy with music rehersal, gigs, recording and homework. I gave the time i had to call my boyfriend who was in SC. over the semester i became depressed. Although the music was wonderful, Sacramento was not doing it for me. The dorms were filled with carless girls and drunk people. There was never time to study. Most of the girls living around me had the minimun of 12 units to stay in the housing. They did not care to be there and it did not help me to feel comfortable. My roomate was just as bad. My roomate hated jazz and most of my music, lostend to Back street boys all day and slept through her Law major classes every other day. On top of that she ruined my entire art portfolio with a cup of sode and never bothered to tell me until i stumbled upon the mess a day later.i had two friend who helped me survive. Other than that the music is what kept me alive ( check out sacramento state University site -search 'Vocal Jazz'. after many discussions with my family and boyfriend, and a few with friends, i decided the school was not the right place for me. To this day i still do not know if i mad the right desicion or not.
Once i came home, things were slower. My friends and i were more distant, i didnt see the people i saw at school daily. I missed seeing people. I guess i expected a warm welcome when i came home. I attempted calling people i hade't spent time with in a while. Most of them just kinda said oh yea...we should hang out. But we never did. Even that being my fault, i still wish i could see the people I was once close with. I started the next semester at Cabrillo and got a job to save up money and live life. The beginning was ok. Cabrillo was alright. The music there was extrealy dissapointing and that really got me down. Through time, music started fading, making me again saddened. by the time Cabrillo ended, my time had limited me to work and school, and evenings with my boyfriend. My best friend had made new friends at her work, and i just kind of let it go. Many other friends were again distant and my life was becoming more and more boring. I had lost my music, my best friend, and my happiness.
Now i am starting over. I need to re connect with lost friends and establish my life in my own control. I just kinda let everything go. I feel the need for help sometimes, help to push me to keep up singing and playing, friends to keep me laughing and people to talk to. I used to be able to talk to some many people, it felt good to listen to people and just hang out. If there is anyone i have let slip away, please get in touch with me. I miss you.

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www.myspace.com/snazzyjazzy